marriage

And I’m not talking that kind of lover…

A little over a year ago, I was in a bad place emotionally and mentally.  I was participating, and dreaming of participating in, very self-destructive behaviors.  Without going into detail out, because this really isn’t the place for it at this point, I entered in a routine counseling pattern with a social worker at a local place.  Why a social worker? I had bad experiences with the previous professionals I had talked with, they just seemed so stiff and so not ‘real’.  Like I’d pour my heart out and they’d stare at me like I’d lost my mind.  So I met with this counselor and she was human, she even made mistakes too! It was great.

So after numerous sessions, and when I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel I had created, husband agreed to go to a group marriage counseling for a few weeks. We went mainly so that we could get back on the same page. We unfortunately couldn’t make it through the whole series of sessions because insurance changed, but there were two sessions solely dedicated to the 5 love languages.

Dr. Gary Chapman breaks them down accordingly:

• Words of Affirmation
• Quality Time
• Receiving Gifts
• Acts of Service
• Physical Touch

I’ve always done this for everyone, but without knowing their love language, it’s hard to know whether it hits home or not.  I still struggle to remember that he needs different attention than what I need, so I have to remember to give him that.  I can honestly say I didn’t know this type of drastic difference in ways to show love existed.  I just assumed you could say it, or show it, in any way, and people would get it.  Who knew this love stuff could be tricky?

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