The other night the girls had the opportunity to go onto the football field during our game, and watch the Irish Dancers group perform up close. A loves dancing and she loves watching others dance. This was really important to her and I’m blessed that I have coworkers willing to do this. I wish I could show you the picture of how happy they were with the girls, soon enough… Which leads me to….
I spent Tuesday at the courthouse getting my petition to adopt in order. Really it didn’t take that long, it was more waiting for the social worker. We paid our fees, got the paperwork all lined up. We just have to wait for our date now We will be meeting with the judge for this one, which is awesome because we’ll be in the actual court room and it will be a little more special for the kids!
I recently told a friend that I felt they were an essential part of my world now. They didn’t believe me. Wouldn’t know, a few minutes later on Pinterest this quote came up. It couldn’t have been better timed. But the more I think about it, the quote is dead on. Every single person has been placed in my life for a reason, I just have to be willing to open my eyes and see that!
This weather is awesome, so I took this weekend to play in the leaves and do a little kickball with the kids. I also had the chance to put my new Manifesta pants to the test. Which, I will totally be doing a review soon, but if you want to try them out, you can use the code ohsuzzz for 20% off. It’s no kick back to me, just a savings to you PS – they are AWESOME!. Back to the kickball. I had done a few miles on the treadmill, went outside, raked, played in the leaves (which also reminds me, I have some great pictures that again, I can’t quite share) and then played with the kids. This is what weekends are made of!
Before school, this is occasionally how the kids spend their time. I was getting ready and heard L reading to AJ. It was adorable to see him all bundled up on my floor. PS – see that TREDUP box in the corner? Oh yes, I ordered again…
Most people have some general body image issues. Some people hate their bodies, some just hate certain parts, others really love themselves for who they are. I fall into the middle category pretty much. I don’t love every bit of me, but damnit there are some parts and qualities I’m proud of. I’ve mentioned before about how I often have resisted massages because of my body image issues. This is nothing new, even back in 2012 I had the same complaints. It’s really not something to uncommon. Let’s be real. If it were we wouldn’t be photoshopping and filtering photos until they’re barely recognizable and then plastering them for everyone to see.
However, when you have a friend who has the same self esteem or body issues, when they really are a friend, it’s hard to understand how they can feel that way when you love them just the way they are. Interestingly enough we can’t love ourselves, but we can love our imperfect friends perfectly fine. I have a few friends who come to mind, and two close friends who I deal with regularly on a daily basis who both struggle with self love and food control issues.
My one friend, she knows who she is, is totally aware of her issues, and is dealing with them however she needs to. (or maybe she’s not, I don’t butt in, she knows what’s going on in her head). Her issues don’t affect me as much. When she’s limiting, she’s never once made me feel guilty for eating everything she’s not. She’s never made me feel like I should consider changing up what I’m eating or doing. Maybe it’s because of her personality, or my level of comfort, but it hasn’t bothered me.
I have another friend whoever, who more recently has shown me all these subtle clue and tips that he’s struggling with body image. I started to pick up on a few subtle comments over summer, but never really put much thought into it. In the recent months I’ve watched him start really limiting what he consumes. I’m not even sure he eats 1200 calories regularly. In fact, I know at one point he wasn’t. He’s a tough guy, was an athlete, so there’s little telling him what to do. Who FORGETS to eat? No one. Not someone who works out and then has a long night ahead of him with no food. You don’t forget, you choose not to. It’s interesting to me how someone else’s body image issues can rub off on those around them. I’m amazed at how suddenly eating lunch, I’m self conscious. I’m constantly debating whether or not to eat at lunch, with the lunch group, or to eat something privately.
I’m slowly realizing not much I’m doing helps. Here’s a few things I’ve tried:
Showing concern. I asked a few times if he forgot his lunch or a portion of it, if I could share my fruit. I told him I’m concerned at how he’s going to keep his energy going. I’ve asked him to add up his calories so he knows where he’s sitting as far as that goes. Nothing has really shown that there’s any acknowledgment or trigger.
Offering compliments. I started offering compliments in hopes of building him up to remind him he’s OK exactly where he is, right now. He’s OK if he loses some more weight and he’s OK if he gains. I’ve learned though that through talking to my friend, mentioned above, that sometimes compliments are feeding into the issue, making it seem like he needs to continue doing what he’s doing.
Ignoring. I’ve tried ignoring it entirely, doing my own thing and brushing it off. I can’t ignore it. A shirt that fits drastically different in the span of two weeks is noticeable. Maybe not everyone will notice but when it’s someone you see daily, it becomes more apparent.
He insists he’ll change things up when things slow down in a few months. He insists there’s no issue. He insists he’s just fine. Well you know what he can’t insist? That I’m fine. He doesn’t realize that now I split much of my lunch up. I eat a portion privately, and then keep some for when lunch actually starts and I go eat with my lunch crew. He’s not judging me. I know this. He’s never once made any comment at all about my lunch. In fact on days that I do split up my lunch he points out that I’m not eating much and offers me something, like he has extra to offer… But I just shrug it off.
How do you support a friend with body image issues?
Disclaimer: I had this awesome experience as part of my involvement through Fit Approach & SweatGuru. All opinions are that of my own, there was no further compensation! I recently had the opportunity to check out Hidden Sage, a local place that does sound & color therapy, as well as Feng Shui, and health […]
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